Self-compassion

You can cultivating self-compassion to enhance your motivation, reduce stress & improve your wellbeing. Self compassion is about:

  • Being touched by and open to our own suffering.
  • Not disconnecting from or avoiding distress.
  • A desire to alleviate suffering in a kind way.
  • Non-judgemental understanding of one's pain as part of the larger human experience.

In reality we can't always get what we want and life challenges and personal failures are part of being human. Some self-esteem pitfalls that you might find yourself falling into include:

  • Comparing the self to others.
  • Constant self-judgement and evaluation.
  • Putting others down to inflate a sense of self-worth.
  • Feeling isolated, like the only one who is inadequate.

If you continue down this path into critical self-talk then you might experience:

  • Reduced motivation
  • Low mood
  • Resistance to change
  • Reduced confidence

Techniques

Some techniques to help you develop self-compassion are outlined below.

Mindfulness

Paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally. (Kabat-Zinn, 1994)

Compassion & productivity

  • Mindfulness and compassion are embraced by large corporations like Google
  • Google created a leadership program based on mindfulness
  • Past Australian participants of SIY: Westpac, AFL Players Association, Commonwealth Bank of Australia, Allen Fisher, News Limited, The Australian Ballet, Microsoft, SuncorpGroup, BupaAustralia, WestmeadChildren's Hospital, RSPCA, Nespresso, NSW Health, Lend Lease

Motivation

  • The motivation of self-compassion arises from love, while the motivation of self-criticism arises from fear.
  • Self-criticism asks if you're good enough. Self-compassion asks what's good for you.
  • What are our life values? Are we living in accordance with them?

Openness to change

  • The actions needed for optimal functioning and health are encouraged with gentleness and patience.

Emotional wellbeing

  • Less anxiety and depression
  • Ability to tolerate distress
  • Greater emotional coping skills
  • Higher life satisfaction
  • Increased autonomy, competence and relatedness
  • Improved interpersonal relationships

Exercise

  • This is a moment of suffering.
  • Suffering is a part of life.
  • Let me be kind to myself in this moment.
  • Let me give myself the compassion that I need.